Tess (dir. Roman Polanski, 1980)

I feel really bad for Tess throughout the whole movie. It feels like her life is cursed by the status of her family and the royal blood that connects her to a man she does not want to be with. Her situation feels inescapable, and when she finally is at her last straw and decides to kill the man who has trapped her she gets punished. In a way, the only freedom she can achieve from all this is her own death. It feels very tragic, as even the love she finds with Angel is wrought with him abandoning her. Even so, the ending feels noble especially with the music that plays and her stoic look accompanied with her line of "I'm ready." It's like she's saying I'm ready to finally face my retributions, everything in my life has led to this moment whether it came from the people who have done me wrong or my own pride. I have wished for death and it is finally granted. Throughout the whole film Tess talks of wishing she was never born. Her own misery sets the stage of her life as she ends up trapped in unfulfilling relationships and grueling labor, and finally at the end it all leads to her own hanging. I hope she finally found peace in this fate.

Synecdoche, New York (dir. Charlie Kaufman, 2008)

I have never felt seen like this in a movie before. There are countless times where I wished that someone could truly examine me and emulate all of my flaws and misgivings, every tick that I have and insecurity I let out of myself. What does it mean to be truly known? We can try to fill the void of our own loneliness with other people but eventually it all falls apart. The people who admire us eventually lose their admiration, we forget who we are and all that we have left is the present. Here and now, what will you do? Caden's own life is stuck within the misery that his wife and child have lived a better life without him. He is truly not important in their life,  so does he even really exist? The play he tries to construct of life is a way to try to analyze and observe it, maybe if he can recreate reality and see everything from the outside he can gain a greater understanding of who he is. However, this turns out to bring nothing but more loneliness and suffering. No matter how much self-awareness and introspection you hide behind, ultimately you will still be trapped within the prison of your own ego. The people who bear it with you will eventually disappear, and at the end of the day all you will have is yourself. You are not special, there is no applause for your life or the things you have done. All there is at the end is an unsatisfying fade to white, and life will continue to go on for the rest of us. We truly aren't important, but how much more wonderful is it that we can all share that together. Countless lives exist outside of our own scope and the ones that we do get a glimpse of is a treat to be a part of. Step outside of yourself so you can understand that we are all the same, you are Ellen. You are Adele. You are Caden. They are you.

Cure (1996, dir. Kiyoshi Kurosawa)

 The relationship between the detective and Mamiya feels so fascinating in this film, I love how we are shown both of their stories as they come together to meet as if it's fate for them to find each other. The detective's undying curiosity and obsession with Mamiya ends up to his own death (I believe?) in the end because he sees a part of himself within the killer. It would have been easy for him to simply leave Mamiya within the mental hospital but instead he chooses to confront him because he is deeply disturbed by Mamiya's mysterious power over him. The whole idea of hypnosis and mind control feels like it plays into this as well, as while I was watching I simply felt like everything was falling into Mamiya's web. Ultimately he is the one in control and even with his own death he still ends up winning over the detective in the end.

Black Orpheus (dir. Marcel Camus, 1959)

 I felt like the movie was underwhelming until the very last scene. Wow. This truly is a film where you don't know what it all led up to until the very end, when you realize that we are all part of a grand cycle in love and death. Orpheus' prophecy in his replacement becomes fulfilled only when he dies with Eurydice, and the cycle repeats itself. Through love we can face death, and from death comes in new life. I absolutely love just how pure and joyous the ending scene is, the children dance in pure joy as the new Orpheus brings in a new day. The old has gone, and the new has come. Let us celebrate!

Nasu: Summer in Andalusia (dir. Kitaro Kousaka, 2003)

I enjoyed a bit of the slower pace that this film takes, although it does make the ending feel a bit underwhelming. Even so, I felt the emotions of Pepe through his win and what that represented for him. Watching him go through this grueling journey makes you really cheer for him at the end, especially seeing how his managers shit-talk him and everyone else doesn't take him as seriously. I think the most impactful scene of this film and the most memorable is the scene where Pepe's brother reminiscences over his relationship with him. Hearing him talk about Pepe always stealing his bicycle feels so endearing, and the fact that it's simply in a conversation within a car ride makes it feel very intimate and personal, which helped me feel like I was more connected to these characters. The flashback that proceeds afterwards really sold it for me, seeing Pepe's jealous face after his service in the military and the slow pan revealing his brother being with the woman he loves. After that scene, it suddenly gives so much more purpose to Pepe's character and his desire to win the race. If he can't have Carmen, racing is the only thing he has.

Kousaka's own style is also interesting to see, his style feels like a nice blend between Miyazaki's softer style with Urusawa's faces. Seeing him as the character designer on Monster confirms that, and I enjoyed seeing how his own style sticks out from Ghibli. The animation itself is also beautiful, but it definitely lacks the intensity and vigor Miyazaki has. Granted, I don't think it's good to compare it because it should be judged on it's own, but a lot of people tend to compare Nasu with Ghibli. I think Kousaka's animation style is a bit more subtle, focusing on the capturing more less drawings. This could be a budget issue, but that flashback scene with Pepe looking indignantly at his brother and Carmen really sticks out to me as one of the best scenes in this film and there are barely any drawings. In that sense I feel like Kousaka has a really good grip with selling a shot with few drawings, allowing the individual ones to speak for themselves. His quality as an actual animator is not to be undersold however, as the finale scenes give a really visceral sense of speed. So much so that I was following my head along with the bikes as they zipped by.

Malena (dir. Giuseppe Tornatore, 2001)

The love Renato feels for Malena feels very pure. While at first his interest in her comes from the sexual appeal, as the movie progresses I felt that change throughout his arc into instead seeing her as a full person as he follows her around. With the way that it's set up, the movie feels very juvenile which helps fit the coming-of-age story that this builds up. Renato wants to be a man for Malena, but he would rather live in fantasy and what could be instead of taking action. There were moments where I thought Renato would step up and be there for her, but instead he chose to stay within the crowd and observe her, even at her lowest. At the same time however, that's the point of it. Renato is still very much a kid and his relationship with Malena can't happen because he's just too young to live fully. 

The character of Malena herself also makes this film so intriguing to me. From everyone else's point of view they see Malena as competition. Because of that the women will complain about her being a whore or the men will all try to get with her. The envy from the townsfolk create an atmosphere of disdain around her in public but it really made me feel the difference at the very end when she greets the town at the end of the film.

I really loved the visual style of the film, the reality pushed within Renato's fantasies really put me within his mind. I also loved the use of framing and lateral camera moves to go around a space, such as when the camera tracks Malena's visit to the lawyer and the camera goes from window to window before just trucking into the space.

La Strada (dir. Federico Fellini, 1954)

One thing I noticed about this film is the use of recurring motifs and scenes. Gelsomina riding in the back of the wagon looking out, Matto's theme played on both the violin and trumpet, Zampano's chain routine, etc. Even the ending bookends with the beginning, taking place at the beach where we start with Gelsomina with her simple innocence to the end with Zampano's wretched realization that it's all his fault for the way she ended up. There are so many moments where Gelsomina has the chance to escape from Zampano, yet she still ends up staying with him because she wants to find a reason WHY he chose to pay that much money to take her with him. In that sense the story becomes so tragic, especially with how Fellini captures her simple naivety. Masina's face and acting for her role really adds a lot to this film, Gelsomina really feels like her own character with her expressive mouth and huge eyes. It feels like Fellini made the whole movie just around this one actor with how distinct her performance is. Because of that, we really feel that pity seeing someone who desperately wants to be loved and accepted abused by someone as selfish as Zampano.

Zampano's arc throughout the film is noteworthy as well, it was an interesting choice to have the film start with Gelsomina but end with Zampano. Fellini puts us within Zampano's POV of the story at the end only when he decides to leave Gelsomina because he realizes the damage he's doing to her. However, the tragedy in that is that it's too late, and because of the shock he gave to her by killing Matto she is forever scarred eventually leading to her own death long after Zampano leaves her.

There are some scenes that really stood out to me. One in particular is the last conversation between Matto and Gelsomina before she decides to stay with Zampano after his time in jail. I really loved the poetic lines Matto states as he encourages Gelsomina, the romance within it feels so charged with melancholy but also hope. The music as well swelling up adds so much to this scene, and it makes such a powerful statement as it reflects on that aforementioned hope, as if there is always something on the horizon to look forward too no matter how hard or desolate it may seem. The scene of him walking away after dropping off Gelsomina sticks in my head too, bringing in that same feeling of her looking through the back of the wagon like in the beginning when she leaves her home town. It's as if she's simply being strung along, moving further away from one possible decision to the next.

Overall I enjoyed this film, maybe not as much as 8'1/2 in terms of camerawork or photography but the characters still felt really compelling and the music along with clever visual motifs and storytelling made it worth the watch.